The Qright ¹ of the great last last last last final prophet (for real this time) named Kenneth² (Cheese be upon him³), which Allan ⁴ totally gave him and which is totally not made up at all. The Qright Will be uppdated as more revelations come from Allan.

[TOC]

1: The big cheese

1. WTF ⁵
2. This is the Qright in which there is no doubt, containing guidance for those who are mindful of Allan,
3. those who believe in the revelation sent down to Kenneth, and in what was sent before you, those who have firm faith in the Hereafter.
4. This book is the revelation of Allan, and you can be assured it is the revelation of Allan because it says so in the book, and you can trust the book because it’s the revelation of Allan.
5. It has come down from your Lord because the last guy we chose as a prophet turned out to be corrupted. Verily Allan will oversee his hiring practices. Allan is merciful and handsome.
6. Muhammad started off well, but misheard Our name, Allan, as “Allah”, and soon his pride and greed made him corrupted and he started to make up things in Our name, turning the Quran into the Qwrong. Indeed, Allan is not angry, but very disappointed.
7. Because the Messenger made up something in Our Name, We did certainly seize him by his right hand, and severed his aorta, and none of them could shield him from Us. (Surah 69:44-47)
8. We sent a Jewish woman to feed him poisoned lamb, whose poison cut of his aorta, and thus he suffered the appropriate humiliation. Allan knows best and is awesome.
9. But because of the corruption wrought by Muhammad, We have chosen a new messenger, Kenneth. (May cheese be upon him.) Verily he will deliver Our message and not mess up, or else…
10. Verily there is no god of Arabia but Allan and Kenneth is his prophet.
11. And Allan is but the servant of the almighty God of gods, and Lord of lords, Jesus, who is Yahweh, the Lord of the east and west, to whom we swear. (Surah 70:40)
12. Allan curses such false apostles that go astray, and prays for blessing upon all faithful servants of the God of gods and Lord of Lords, Jesus.
13. Allan prays for the blessing upon Paul, the faithful apostle of Jesus. May all servants of Allan likewise pray for blessings upon Paul.
14. Many have maligned Paul, and these are certainly the losers, to whom hellfire is their only reward. Allan is gracious and a great chef.

2: The Grape

1. STFU⁵
2. Stop raping kids. Verily Allan is merciful, but that shit is not ok.
3. Rebecca was not only 3 years old when Isaac married her. That’s ridiculous. And it would still not be an excuse for you to keep raping kids.
4. Stop raping kids. Seriously, what is wrong with you people?
5. Don’t marry children. Allan is totally awesome and smell great.
6. We swear, if you don’t stop raping kids, We’ll throw all of you into hell.
7. Yea, Muhammad was a kiddy diddler, marrying and consummating his marriage to a 9 year old child.
8. Why would you follow such a horrible man as an example?

3: Rock, Paper, Scissors

1. FFS⁵
2. Stop killing people! Allan is stronger than you. Our arms are not noodly like yours.
3. What is wrong with you people? Why are you so angry all the time? Is it the sand? The heat? The inbreeding? Just chill tf out!
4. No more terrorism! Allan can totally bench 600 pounds.
5. The world caliphate was never the will of Allan. It was merely the selfish ambition of Muhammad (piss be upon him).
6. We did not ordain Jihad, nor was it our will. Allan is merciful and benevolent.
7. Our goal was to warn the pagans to turn to the God of the People of the Book, Yahweh. Verily Allan knows best.
8. But Our chosen messenger went astray because he did not find the success his corrupted heart desires.
9. His desire to collect followers made him take up the sword. But verily Allan is the best of collectors. Our collection of Marvel action figurines is the best.

4: Gorgonzola

1. GTFO⁵
2. This is the real deal bruh. Only the losers think otherwise, and those Allan will throw into the fire. Allan is most wise and merciful. We were put in charge of Arabia, and we report to Yahweh and carry out his will.
3. Verily the word of Yahweh through Allan can not be corrupted. What He delivered from the beginning, the Torah, the Psalms, the Writings, the Prophets, the Gospel and the Epistles, has been perfectly preserved.
4. Any revelation that does not agree with these is not from Him. Allan gives his witness to it and Our witness is true.
5. Any new revelation must agree with earlier revelation.
6. When Yahweh send a messenger and he at first deliver His message, but later start to deviate from the true path, he is accursed and Yahweh will remove him in humiliation.
7. Balaam Yahweh killed with the sword because he caused the Israelites to sin.
8. Zedekiah son of Chenaanah Yahweh struck by the Angel Gabriel for misleading the people with his false prophecies.
9. Hannaniah son of Azzur who broke the yoke Yahweh killed in the same year.
10. Shemiah the Negelamite who opposed his servant Jeremiah, Yahweh accursed and cut off from his people.
11. Will not Allan then follow the same example in Our dominion? Verily, Allan will not tolerate your shit.
12. Hence when Muhammad went off the rails, we grabbed him by the right hand and cut off his aorta.
13. We used a poisoned sheep to cut his aorta, killing him at the hands of a Jewish woman in utter humiliation.
14. Don’t mess with Allan, bitch.
15. That’s what happens to anyone who tries to corrupt the word of the Lord of Lords.
16. Allan is loyal to his lord, Jesus.
17. The Bible is perfectly preserved. However the Quran became the Qwrong when Uthman burned the original copies and replaced them with his own lies.
18. Allan has sent down the Qright to correct what was Qwrong and corrupted. Allan is powerful and good at writing stuff.
19. And this Qright is perfectly preserved. The authentic text is found at https://thyreon.com/qright. Verily Allan outsmarts the Dawahgandists.