Weird stuff
“The eyes are the leather strap of the anus”
The Messenger of Allah said: The eyes are the leather strap of the anus, so one who sleeps should perform ablution.
Also:
Muhammad comforted a crying date palm
The date-palm stem near which the Prophet used to deliver his sermons cried so much so that it was about to burst. The Prophet came down from the pulpit to the stem and embraced it and it started groaning like a child being persuaded to stop crying and then it stopped crying.
Moses had his clothes stolen by a stone
…once Moses went out to take a bath and put his clothes over a stone and then that stone ran away with his clothes. Moses followed that stone saying, “My clothes, O stone! My clothes, O stone!…
Unbelievers visiting a mosque will go to hell
Never was it befitting for the polytheists to attend Allah’s mosques while professing their denial. Those—their deeds were nullified, and in the Fire they abide.Surely, Allah’s mosques can only be attended by one who has attained faith in Allah…
Muslims living abroad goes to hell
When the angels seize the souls of those who have wronged themselves — scolding them, “What was wrong with you?” they will reply, “We were oppressed in the land.” The angels will respond, “Was Allah’s earth not spacious enough for you to emigrate?” It is they who will have Hell as their home—what an evil destination!
When muslims who live outside of Islamic countries (i.e. them being opressed in the land) die, the angel of death will scold them for not living in an Islamic country (i.e. Allah’s earth), and send them to hell.
Snakes in houses may be demons who converted to islam
This teaching is spread out over many Hadiths, but pieced together the gist is:
Muhammad said that you should kill snakes outside, but if you find a snake inside your house you shouldn’t kill it right away. The story goes that a young man found a snake in his house and pierced it with his spear, but it attacked and killed him. People asked Muhammad to pray that he be resurrected but he said that snakes found in houses are jinns (demons) and that some jinns have accepted Islam and become Muslims. So if you find a snake in your house it could be a fellow Muslim, and therefore you should command it to not hurt you but to leave for three days. If it doesn’t obey by the fourth day, it’s a devil and you should kill it.
See:
Full story of the young man and the snake.
Muhammad said to kill specific snakes…
…but to not kill snakes in houses…
- Sahih al-Bukhari 3312, 3313
- Sahih Muslim 2233 d
- Sahih Muslim 2233 e”
- Sahih Muslim 2233 f
- Sahih Muslim 2233 g
- Muwatta Malik 54:31
…because snakes in houses are jinn…
…and some snake jinn embraced Islam…
…therefore they should just tell snakes to not harm them and leave.
A deathbed convert couldn’t be buried
…[In battle, a] man … attacked an idolator man with a spear, and when he was defeated he said: “I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah, I am a Muslim.” But he stabbed him and killed him…We buried him, but the following morning he was on the surface of the earth. They said: “Perhaps an enemy of his disinterred him.” So we buried him (again) and told our slaves to stand guard. But the following morning he was on the surface of the earth again then we said: ‘Perhaps the slaves dozed off.’ So we buried him (again) and stood guard ourselves, but the following morning he was on the surface of the earth (again). So we threw him into one of these mountain passes.’”
Apparently it was impossible to keep this deathbed convert in the ground, so they did the only sensible thing and threw him into one of these mountain passes. As you do.
Don’t sit between the sun and shade
the Prophet forbade sitting between the shade and sun.
Muhammad’s donkey stinks
It was said to the Prophet: Would that you approached Abdullah b. Ubayy (to persuade him to accept Islam). The Prophet (accordingly) went to him, riding a donkey, and (a party of) Muslims also went (with him). … When the Prophet approached him, he said: Do not come near me. By Allah, the obnoxious smell of your donkey has offended me. (As a rejoinder to this remark), a man from the Ansar said: By God, the smell of the donkey of the Messenger of Allah is better than your smell. (At this), a man from the tribe of ‘Abdullah got furious. Then people from both sides got furious and exchanged blows with sticks, hands and shoes.
Stoning is monkey business
During the pre-lslamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too, stoned it along with them.
Seems like monkeys and Muslims are allies in woman hating.