Other important persons
< Index
- Jesus
- Satan
- Bells are Satanic
- Donkeys are Satan detectors
- Satan farts to not hear the call to prayer
- Satan sleeps in your nostrils
- Satan pisses in your ear
- Satan blows air into your butt
- Satan eats poop
- Satan eats with his left hand
- Yawning is Satanic
- Night prayers ensures satanic possession
- Satan can’t open lids
- Satan’s throne is upon the water
Jesus
What Islam teaches about Jesus varies. Some things are more or less accurate, but many things are false, antichristian and blasphemous.
Jesus is free of sin
Surah 19:19
The angel said to Mary about Jesus:
He said: I am only a messenger of thy Lord, that I may bestow on thee a faultless son.
Jesus was not crucified
Surah 4:157
and their saying, “We have surely killed the Messiah, Jesus, son of Mary, the Messenger of Allah. ”In fact, they did not kill him, nor did they crucify him, but it appeared to them as if they had. And indeed, those who differed over him are in doubt about it. They have no knowledge of it—just following assumptions. And certainly, they did not kill him.
This is probably the most damning verse in the Quran, because it not only goes against the Bible and the testimony of documented history, proving that Islam is factually false and a lie, but it also leads billions of people away from salvation.
Jesus is Lord along with Allah
Surah 9:31
They have taken their scholars and monks as lords besides Allāh and the Messiah, the son of Mary.
This is one of the many passages where the English translations lie to hide the meaning. The Arabic says “ٱتَّخَذُوٓا۟ أَحْبَارَهُمْ وَرُهْبَـٰنَهُمْ أَرْبَابًۭا مِّن دُونِ ٱللَّهِ وَٱلْمَسِيحَ ٱبْنَ مَرْيَمَ وَمَآ” which translates as “They have taken their rabbis and their monks as lords besides Allah and the Messiah, son of Mary.”
So the error of these people is to take the rabbis and monks as lords, when they already have sufficient lords in Allah AND the Messiah. So it admits that Jesus is Lord beside Allah.
The First and the Last
Surah 57:3
[Allah] is the First and the Last, and the Manifest and the Hidden, and He is All-Knowing about every thing.
Christians agree that “The First and the Last” is a title that only belongs to God. But in Revelation 1:17, Jesus uses this term to describe himself, proving that Jesus is God, and Allah is Jesus.
King of kings
The Prophet said, “The most disgraceful man near Allah is a man who calls himself (or likes others to call him) Malikul-Amlak (i.e., king of kings).”
Allah seemingly dislikes the King of Kinfs. But Jesus Christ is called “The King of Kings”, a title that only belongs to God. So if Muslims respect Jesus they must respect his divine title.
King of the Kingdom of Heaven and Earth
Surah 57:5
To Him belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. And to Allah all matters are returned.
Jesus is the king of the kingdom of heaven and the earth. See John 18:36, Philippians 2:9-11, Revelation 11:15 and Daniel 7:27
Will judge mankind
Allah’s Messenger said, “By Him in Whose Hands my soul is, surely Jesus, the son of Mary will soon descend amongst you and will judge mankind justly as a Just Ruler.
Last I checked, only God can judge humanity. Why don’t Muslims follow the future king and judge of mankind?
Is alive in heaven with Allah
Surah 3:55
Allah said, “O Jesus! I will take you1 and raise you up to Myself. I will deliver you from those who disbelieve, and elevate your followers above the disbelievers until the Day of Judgment.
Surah 4:157-158
Rather, Allah raised him (Jesus) up to Himself. And Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.
Jesus is the Word of Allah and a spirit from him
Surah 4:171
The Messiah, Jesus son of Mary, was a messenger of Allah, and His word which He cast down to Mary, and a spirit from Him.
Jesus is His Word which He communicated to Mary and His spirit which He sent to her
Satan
Bells are Satanic
The bell is the musical instrument of the Satan.
Funny since in Sahih al Bukhari 2 Muhammad says that his revelations were often like the ringing of a bell, so you don’t have to wonder about it’s true source.
Al-Harith bin Hisham asked Allah’s Messenger “O Allah’s Messenger! How is the Divine Inspiration revealed to you?” Allah’s Messenger replied, “Sometimes it is (revealed) like the ringing of a bell, this form of Inspiration is the hardest of all and then this state passes off after I have grasped what is inspired.
See also:
Donkeys are Satan detectors
When you hear the braying of a donkey, then seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan, for, verily, it has seen a Shaitan.
Satan farts to not hear the call to prayer
When Satan hears the call to prayer, he turns back and breaks the wind so as not to hear the call being made…
Satan sleeps in your nostrils
The Prophet said, “If anyone of you rouses from sleep and performs the ablution, he should wash his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out thrice, because Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all the night.
Allah’s Messenger said: “When one of you wakes up from his sleep, he must blow of his nose three times, for the Satan spends the night inside one’s nostrils”
Satan pisses in your ear
Narrated ‘Abdullah: A person was mentioned before the Prophet and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet said, “Satan urinated in his ears.”
Satan blows air into your butt
Allah’s Messenger said: “Satan comes to one of you in Salat and blows air in his bottom, so he imagines that he has released air yet he did not. So if he gets that feeling he should not leave his prayer unless he hears the sound (of the air) or smells its odour.”
In other words, farting during prayer voids your prayer, but unless you could hear or smell your fart, it was probably just Satan blowing air into your ass to trick you. Totally makes sense…
Satan eats poop
The Prophet wanted to defecate, and he told me to bring him three stones. I found two stones and looked for a third, but I could not find any, so I picked up a piece of dung and brought them to the Prophet. He took the two stones and three away the dung and said: “This is Riks.” Abu ‘Abdur-Rahman (An-Nasai’) said: Riks is the food of the jinn.
So dung, or poop, is called Riks, and Riks is the food of the jinn, and Sayannis a jinn. So Satan eats poop?
(Also, why did he think a piece of dung was a good thing to wipe your ass with?)
Allah’s Messenger said: “Do not perform Istinja, with dung, nor with bones. For indeed it is provisions for your brothers among the Jinn.”
Dung is again said to be the provisions of the Jinn. Notice also that Muslims are brothers with Jinn. This makes sense as Islam believes that Jinn can become Muslims.
Satan eats with his left hand
“Do not eat with your left hand, for Satan eats with his left hand.”
So Satan eats poop with his left hand?
Yawning is Satanic
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: ‘Ha’, Satan will laugh at him.”
Allah loves the sneeze and He dislikes the Yawn, so when a man says Ah, Ah when yawning, indeed Ash-Shaitan laughs from inside his opening.
Night prayers ensures satanic possession
Once Allah’s Messenger became sick and could not offer his night prayer (Tahajjud) for two or three nights. Then a lady (the wife of Abu Lahab) came and said, “O Muhammad! I think that your Satan has forsaken you, for I have not seen him with you for two or three nights!”
So by avoiding praying the night prayer for two or three nights, Satan left Muhammad for those two or three nights. That means that praying the night prayer means Satan will come to oppress you.
Satan can’t open lids
Cover up the (kitchen) containers (i.e., pots, pans, etc.), tie up the mouth of the water-skin, lock up the doors and extinguish the lamps, because Satan can neither untie the water-skin nor open the door nor uncover the containers.
Satan’s throne is upon the water
He said: I see the throne over water. Whereupon Allah’s Messenger said: You see the throne of Iblis (Satan) upon the water
See also: Allah’s throne is upon the water