What Islam actually teaches
Table of Contents
- Allah
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Muhammad
- Muhammad’s appearance
- Muhammad’s character
- Muhammad was illiterate
- Muhammad was gullible
- Muhammad was a sinner
- Muhammad randomly beat people for no reason
- Muhammad was a copycat
- Muhammad cursed an orphan girl to die young
- Muhammad disdained a blind man
- Muhammad did not like poetry
- Muhammad didn’t practice what he preached
- Muhammad almost caused a famine
- Muhammad probably stole a red velvet cloth
- Muhammad killed puppies
- Muhammad was a tough guy
- Muhammad slapped a lady
- Muhammad condoned murder
- Muhammad spiritual qualifications and prophethood
- Muhammad’s family
- Muhammad would not provide more than one garment each to his wives
- A wife of Muhammad used a dish to catch yellow menstrual discharge while praying
- Muhammad daughter Fatima was denied an inheritance
- The wives of Muhammad were also denied an inheritance.
- The wives of Muhammad were denied remarriage
- The parents of Muhammad are in hell
- Muhammad and hygiene
- Muhammad was sickly
- Muhammad told his followers to drink sewer water
- Muhammad didn’t understand how pollution works
- Muhammad gargled with dick water
- Muhammad had sex with 11 wives but only took one bath
- Muhammad told his followers to lick each other’s hands
- Muhammad told his followers to eat food from the ground
- Muhammad’s followers drank the water he used to wash himself in
- Muhammad told his followers to drink his spit water
- Muhammad spit water in the face of a boy
- Muhammad spit three times in a man’s wound
- Muhammad believed spit mixed with dirt could cure illnesses
- Muhammad tried to heal himself by blowing raspberries
- Muhammad spat in the mouth of a newborn child
- Muhammad exhumed a dead man to spit in his mouth
- Muhammad spat on his prayer mat
- Muhammad urinated squatting
- Muhammad urinated standing
- Muhammad urinated in some weird way
- Muhammad peed toward the Qiblah
- Muhammad pooped facing the Qiblah
- Muhammad told people to drink camel urine
- Muhammad wore semen encrusted clothes
- Muhammad scraped off encrusted snot
- Muhammad had lice
- Muhammad’s mental health
- Muhammad’s miracles
- Muhammad and sex
- Mohammed raped a 9 year old girl
- Muhammed used to put his face into Aishas crotch and recite Quran verses when she was menstruating
- Muhammad used to fondle Aisha when she was menstruating
- Muhammad used to suck on Aishas tongue
- Muhammad French-kissed a little boy
- Muhammad was baffled that other men were not pedophiles like him
- Muhammad believed a woman’s silence means consent
- Muhammad had sex with 9 wives in one night
- Muhammad was “ridden” by tall black men all night long
- Muhammad was kissing and cuddling with men
- Muhammad ordered his followers to bite their father’s penis
- Muhammad and slavery
- Muhammad and violence
- Other things about Muhammad
- The death of Muhammad
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Other important persons
- Jesus
- Satan
- Bells are Satanic
- Donkeys are Satan detectors
- Satan farts to not hear the call to prayer
- Satan sleeps in your nostrils
- Satan pisses in your ear
- Satan blows air into your butt
- Satan eats poop
- Satan eats with his left hand
- Yawning is Satanic
- Night prayers ensures satanic possession
- Satan can’t open lids
- Satan’s throne is upon the water
- Obvious fraud
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Errors and contradictions
- Errors
- Jews think Ezra is the son of Allah
- The Quran gets the trinity wrong
- The Quran confuses the Holy Spirit with the Angel Gabriel
- Christians worship Mary
- Mary the mother of Jesus is the brother of Aaron
- Pharao ordered Haman to build the Tower of Babel
- Pharao threatened people with crucifixion
- The Israelites were misled by a Samaritan
- Jesus was not crucified
- No one was named John before John the Baptist
- Contradictions
- Contradicting the Bible
- Contradicting the Quran
- The Quran is both clear and unclear
- Allah forgives all sins / does not forgive all sins
- Jesus is the Word of Allah, but not Allah
- Did Allah create the heavens or the earth first?
- The word of Allah both can’t and can be changed
- Allah both could and could not have offspring
- Who forgives sins?
- How long did it take Allah to create the world?
- Muhammad did and did not do miracles
- Are people ransomed from hell or not.
- Jews are both favoured and not
- Wine is from Satan but is served in paradise
- Noah’s sons all survived the flood or not
- Jinn can not produce something like the Quran, but did produce a whole Surah of the Quran
- Errors
-
Islam's view on religions
- Islam
- Apostasy
- Punishment for apostasy is death
- Give apostates a chance to repent, and if they don’t, kill them
- A man was beheaded for apostasy
- End time fake Muslims foretold
- Islam is a strange serpent receding into its hole
- Islam means following Muhammad
- Muslims must love Muhammad more than anyone else
- View of non-Muslims
- Leaving Islam
- Stoning is monkey business
- Who resembles a Jew or Christian can not be a Muslim
- Islam will split into 73 sects
- The goal of Islam is world domination
- Non-Muslims, Jews and Christians
- Do not befriend non-muslims
- Do not insult unbelievers or they will insult Allah
- Non-Muslims are the worst of creatures
- Do not greet Jews and Christians but bully them
- Jews and Christians to be expelled from Arabia
- Jews and Christians who don’t accept Islam go to hell
- Jews and Christians are worth half as much as Muslims
- Muslims should listen to and learn from Christians and Jews
- The Jews and Christians did have the uncorrupted scriptures in the days of Muhammad
- Jizya
- Jews
- Christians
- Islam
-
Holy books
- The Bible
- The Quran confirms the Bible
- The Torah is the word of Allah
- The Quran says the Gospel confirms the Torah
- The Quran confirms the Bible
- Christians and Jews must observe the Bible
- Christians must judge by the gospel
- Muhammad is ordered to consult the Jews and Christians if he is in doubt
- Muhammad says the Jews and Christians do have the Torah and Gospel
- The Quran
- Clear and unclear
- The Quran is only meant for the Arabs
- Non-arabs predicted to not believe
- The original Quranic manuscripts were burned
- The Quran was foretold in the Bible
- Proof of inspiration
- No one can change the word of Allah
- The word of Allah CAN be changed
- The Quran is not perfectly preserved
- Chapters of the Quran could be ordered on demand
- Denying a Quran verse makes you a kafir
- Denying a Quran verse is a capital offense
- Muslims shouldn’t bring the Quran to enemy lands
- A Christian wrote the Quran
- The Quran is alive and will intercede on judgment day
- Verses where the Quran affirms the Bible
- The Bible
-
Islam and Science
- Cosmology
- Hygiene, health and food
- Muslims aren’t allowed to urinate standing
- Muslims aren’t allowed to urinate in water
- Muslims aren’t allowed to urinate in holes
- Muslims aren’t allowed to urinate towards the qibla
- Dogs would urinate in the mosque and no one would clean it up
- People used to urinate in the mosque
- Don’t come to mosque with garlic breath
- Don’t sleep on your stomach
- Wigs are forbidden
- Fevers cleanses sins
- Muslims should dip flies in their drinks
- Eat food from the ground and lick your fingers
- The coccyx does not decay
- The earth existed before space
- The earth is flat
- The sky can fall down
- Sperm comes from between the backbone and the ribs
- The sun sets in a muddy spring
- The sun might rise from the west
- What determines if a child looks like its mother or father?
- The urine of boys and girls are different
- Non-Muslims eats in seven intestines, Muslims in one
- Gestation
- Mosquito wings carry both diseases and cures
- The cure for sciatica is sheep’s fat
- Repeating an incantation 7 times can cure anything except death
- 7 dates protects against poison
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General Islamic Theology
- Adam
- Angels
- Death
- Hell
- Jinn
- The Kaaba and Qiblah
- Paradise
- All fruit looks the same in paradise
- Paradise dwellers don’t poop but belch and sweat musk
- Paradise dwellers will have 72 wives
- Paradise dwellers will have large-eyed houris
- Paradise dwellers will be about 30 years old
- Paradise dwellers will be 38 meters tall
- Huge tree
- There are 7 heavens
- Paradise can think and speak
- Paradise for women
- Prayer
- Resurrection
- Salvation
- Muslims are saved by works
- Jews and Christians are also saved
- No ransom will be accepted for another person
- Ransomed from hell by Jews and Christians
- The Quran will come and intercede
- Muhammad can save
- Muhammad can NOT save
- The black stone will intercede
- Muhammad will intercede for those dying in Medina
- Invading India or being Christian ensures salvation
- Memorising the 99 names of Allah ensures salvation
- Being sick or injured cleanses from sins
- Having three dead children saves
- Paradise and hell can intercede
- Sin
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Islam's morality
- Divorce
- Intoxicants
- Lying
- Art and entertainment is prohibited
- Racism
- Sexuality
- Slavery
- Theft
- Violence and Jihad
- Standing orders to fight the world
- View on violence and terrorism
- Fighting is the second best deed in Islam
- Jihadis are rewarded with booty and paradise
- Those who die for Allah are the best of people
- The best jihad is where blood is shed
- Allah likes terrorists more than peaceful Muslims
- Fighting is obligatory for Muslims
- Muslims “kill and are killed” for Allah
- Muslims not fighting are hypocrites
- Muslims not fighting for Islam are punished with hell
- Killing disbelievers guarantees immunity from hell
- View on those who resist Islamic violence
- Muslims can indiscriminately kill innocent civilians
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Islam's view of women
- Violence against women
- Sexual abuse
- Opresive rules
- Wigs are forbidden
- General view on women
- Most people in hell are women
- Women are “deficient in intelligence”
- The testimony of a woman is worth half that of a man
- Women are “deficient in religion”
- Women are equal to donkeys, dogs and pigs
- Women are a source of trouble
- Women are devils
- Men are not allowed to wash themselves with the same water a woman has used
- Women must cover everything but their faces and hands
- In paradise, women will be prostitutes
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Everyday life as a muslim
- How to treat animals
- Minutiae
- How to breathe while drinking
- Don’t hold your penis with the right hand
- Don’t wear only one shoe
- Don’t tie your shoe while standing
- Don’t make pictures
- Don’t throw pebbles
- How to do your toilet
- Muslims must dye their hair
- Don’t drink or eat while standing, or you have to vomit
- Don’t eat with your left hand
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Weird stuff
- “The eyes are the leather strap of the anus”
- Muhammad comforted a crying date palm
- Moses had his clothes stolen by a stone
- Unbelievers visiting a mosque will go to hell
- Muslims living abroad goes to hell
- Snakes in houses may be demons who converted to islam
- A deathbed convert couldn’t be buried
- Don’t sit between the sun and shade
- Relieve sexual awkwardness by suckling breasts
- Muhammad’s donkey stinks