Teachings of Islam
** Quick links to featured Hadiths **
Allah
Allah's personality traits
Allah is a narcissist who praises himself
Allah is afraid people will insult him
Allah is a liar
Allah lied to Muhammad to fool him to go to battle
Allah deceived the world to think Jesus died and to start Christianity.
Allah blinds people to the truth
Allah hates deaf and dumb people
Allah wants people to sin - would otherwise wipe them out
Allah has predestined adultery - No free will
Allah wants contention between people
Allah tortures the dead if their relatives grieve
Allah is a fickle and arbitrary judge
To Allah, the world is less valuable than the carcass of a defective lamb
Allah's fatherhood
Jews and Christians have a familial relationship with God
Allah's religion
Muhammad
His appearance
Muhammad was very average looking
Muhammad dyed his beard yellow
Muhammad used mascara and eyeliner
His character
Muhammad randomly beat people for no reason
Muhammad cursed an orphan girl to die young
Muhammad disdained a blind man
Muhammad didn't practice what he preached
Muhammad almost caused a famine
His prophethood
He couldn't predict technological advances
He predicted that the last hour would come before a young man grew old
He couldn't remember verses of the Quran
He ordered Muslims to cast spells
He had no idea what Allah will do to him
He said the bodies of prophets do not decay, yet his body decayed
Muhammad and hygiene
He told his followers to drink sewer water
He didn't understand how pollution works
He had sex with 11 wives but only took one bath
He told his followers to lick each other's hands
He told his followers to eat food from the ground
His followers drank the water he used to wash himself in
He told his followers to drink his spit water
He spit water in the face of a boy
He spit three times in a man's wound
He believed spit mixed with dirt could cure illnesses
He tried to heal himself by blowing raspberries
He spat in the mouth of a newborn child
He exhumed a dead man to spit in his mouth
He told people to drink camel urine
Muhammad's mental health
He was paranoid, accusing a child of being a supervillain
Muhammad and sex
Muhammad was a pedophile
Mohammed had sex with a 9 year old girl, Aisha
He raped Aisha while she was mourning the death of her father
He used to put his face into Aishas crotch and recite Quran verses when she was menstruating
He used to fondle Aisha when she was menstruating
He used to suck on Aishas tongue
Muhammad and violence
He killed children who had pubic hairs
How Muhammad treated his family
Muhammad would not provide more than one garment each to his wives
A wife of Muhammad used a dish to catch yellow menstrual discharge while praying
Muhammad daughter Fatima was denied an inheritance
The wives of Muhammad were also denied an inheritance.
Other important persons
Obvious fraud
Allah pampers Muhammad
Islam is all about loving Muhammad
Allah annulled adoption so Muhammad could marry his son's wife
Errors and contradictions
Errors
Jews think Ezra is the son of Allah
The Quran gets the trinity wrong
The Quran confuses the Holy Spirit with the Angel Gabriel
Mary the mother of Jesus is the brother of Aaron
Pharao ordered Haman to build the Tower of Babel
Pharao threatened people with crucifixion
Contradictions
Contradicting the Quran
The Quran is both clear and unclear
Allah forgives all sins / does not forgive all sins
Jesus is the Word of Allah, but not Allah
The word of Allah both can't and can be changed
Allah both could and could not have offspring
How long did it take Allah to create the world?
Muhammad did and did not do miracles
Are people ransomed from hell or not.
Jews are both favoured and not
Wine is from Satan but is served in paradise
Noah's sons all survived the flood or not
Jinn can not produce something like the Quran, but did produce a whole Surah of the Quran
Islam's view on religions
Islam
Apostasy and hypocrisy
Punishment for apostasy is death
Give apostates a chance to repent, and if they don't, kill them
Jews and Christians
Do not greet Jews and Christians but bully them
Jews and Christians to be expelled from Arabia
Jews and Christians who don't accept Islam go to hell
Jews and Christians are worth half as much as Muslims
Muslims should listen to and learn from Christians and Jews
The Jews and Christians did have the uncorrupted scriptures in the days of Muhammad
Holy books
The Bible
The Torah is the word of Allah
The Quran says the Gospel confirms the Torah
Christians and Jews must observe the Bible
Christians must judge by the gospel
Muhammad is ordered to consult the Jews and Christians if he is in doubt
Muhammad says the Jews and Christians do have the Torah and Gospel
The Quran
The Quran is only meant for the Arabs
Non-arabs predicted to not believe
The original Quranic manuscripts were burned
The Quran was foretold in the Bible
No one can change the word of Allah
The word of Allah CAN be changed
The Quran is not perfectly preserved
Allah foretold that the Quran wouldn’t be perfectly preserved
The Quran was corrupted even during Muhammad's lifetime
Two chapters of the Quran were forgotten
Chapters of the Quran could be ordered on demand
Denying a Quran verse makes you a kafir
Denying a Quran verse is a capital offense
Islam and Science
Cosmology
The earth existed before space
There are 7 heavens and 7 earths
Embryology
Sperm comes from between the backbone and the ribs
Semen remains in the womb 40 days
Hygiene, health and food
Muslims should dip flies in their drinks
Eat food from the ground and lick your fingers
Muslims aren’t allowed to urinate standing
Muslims aren’t allowed to urinate in water
Muslims aren’t allowed to urinate in holes
Muslims aren’t allowed to urinate towards the qibla
Dogs would urinate in the mosque and no one would clean it up
People used to urinate in the mosque
The urine of boys and girls are different
Non-Muslims eats in seven intestines, Muslims in one
Mosquito wings carry both diseases and cures
The cure for sciatica is sheep's fat
Repeating an incantation 7 times can cure anything except death
General Islamic Theology
Paradise
Houris have big eyes
Houris don’t need to poop, pee, or sweat, they exist for one purpose: eternal male pleasure.
All fruit looks the same in paradise
Paradise dwellers don't poop but belch and sweat musk
Paradise dwellers will be about 30 years old
Prayer
Looking up while praying makes you go blind
Raising your head before the Imam while praying turns it into a donkey head
Salvation
Jews and Christians are also saved
No ransom will be accepted for another person
Ransomed from hell by Jews and Christians
The Quran will come and intercede
The black stone will intercede
Muhammad will intercede for those dying in Medina
Invading India or being Christian ensures salvation
Memorising the 99 names of Allah ensures salvation
Being sick or injured cleanses from sins
Islamic morals
Lying
Three situations in which you can lie
You can break an oath if you have a better alternative
Allah has ordained for the breaking of oaths
Breaking an oath comes with ridiculously trivial consequences
Racism
Black people were created for hell
Those condemned by Allah turns black
Black people symbolize disease
Turks look like their faces were hit with a hammer
Ethiopians have heads like raisins
Sexuality
Islam promotes pedophilia
The Quran promotes child marriage
Mohammed raped Aisha, a nine year old girl
Muhammad was flabbergasted that other men were not pedophiles
Adult Muslim men should suckle the breasts of adult Muslim women
Slavery
Runaway slaves lack protection
Gifting slaves is better than freeing them
Black slaves are worth half of Arab slaves
Violence and Jihad
Jihad against unbelievers
Fight the unbelievers until they convert
View on violence and terrorism
The verse Muslims use to lie that Islam is peaceful
Fighting is the second best deed in Islam
Jihadis are rewarded with booty and paradise
Those who die for Allah are the best of people
The best jihad is where blood is shed
Allah likes terrorists more than peaceful Muslims
Fighting is obligatory for Muslims
Muslims "kill and are killed" for Allah
Muslims not fighting are hypocrites
Islam's view of women
Violence against women
Wife beating is allowed in Islam
Never ask why a man beats his wife
Flogging your wife is ok as long as you don't have sex with her afterwards
Sexual abuse
Women are to be plowed like a field
Wives must always be ready to please their husbands
Opresive rules
Women wearing perfume are adulteresses
Women are cursed for plucking their eyebrows, getting tattoos, or orthodontics
General view on women
Women in hell for dressing wrong
Women are "deficient in intelligence"
The testimony of a woman is worth half that of a man
Women are "deficient in religion"
Women are equal to donkeys, dogs and pigs
Men are not allowed to wash themselves with the same water a woman has used
Everyday life as a muslim
Weird stuff
"The eyes are the leather strap of the anus"
Muhammad comforted a crying date palm
Moses had his clothes stolen by a stone
Unbelievers visiting a mosque will go to hell
Muslims living abroad goes to hell
Snakes in houses may be demons who converted to islam
A deathbed convert couldn't be buried