How would the Nicene creed have looked like if the Jehovah’s witnesses were the true religion? This is a version of the Nicene creed with the doctrinal statements changed to conform to the actual beliefs of Jehovah’s witnesses:

Jehovah’s Witnesses Creed

We believe in one God, Jehovah, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Michael the Archangel, the only Son of God, created by Jehovah, “a god” but not the true God, the first creation of Jehovah through whom Jehovah then created all other things.

In order to vindicate Jehovah’s sovereignty and sanctify his name of the reproach that Satan has heaped upon it, the archangel Michael came down from heaven. Jehovah took his spirit and personality and inserted it in the womb of the Virgin Mary, and he was born as the man Jesus.

In order to repay the debt of Adam, he was nailed to a stake, not a cross, under Pontius Pilate. He died and was buried. His body was then miraculously dissolved into atoms.

On the third day he came back again as the archangel Michael and materialized and dematerialized several mock bodies in order to deceive his follwers into believing that he had been bodily resurrected, even making a body with wounds so that he could convince Thomas; he ascended into heaven and waited for 1880 years before he seated himself at the right hand of Jehovah.

Since 1914 he is invisibly present although he has not yet come. Someday very very soon he will come again at Armageddon and kill everyone who is not a Jehovah’s witness, and will rule his kingdom from heaven with 144.000 co-rulers for a thousand years.

We believe that the holy spirit is not a person but an active force like electricity or gravity which Jehovah uses to do his will.

We believe that Jehovah uses only one organization on earth, the Watchtower Corporation.

We acknowledge one baptism as a sign of dedication to Jehovah and his earthly organization.

We look forward to the resurrection of our dead loved ones, and the life in the new world to come where all our childish materialistic desires will be satisfied.

Amen.